10 Signs You Aren’t Actually in Love, Just Emotionally Dependent

In life, we are all searching for that perfect person to be our soulmate, however, oftentimes we have to go through a series of trial and error before finding them. Unfortunately, along this journey, we may confuse emotional dependence as true love.

Thankfully, if we understand ourselves a little bit better, we can know the difference between the two. By understanding these differences, we know whether or not we are in a healthy union. If not, it may be time to move on.

1. You Feel Possessive or Jealous Over Your Partner

When we are in a healthy relationship, we should be able to trust the person that we are with, without mixing jealousy into the equation. If you feel that you cannot trust your partner, this is a sign that you may just have an emotional dependence on the person rather than truly loving them.

2. You Aren’t Afraid of Losing Their Approval

When you are in a loving relationship, it should be easy to speak to your significant other without holding back due to fear. When you have found the right person, opening up to them will come as second nature and you will have an understanding that they will accept you for who you are.

3. You Change Yourself In Order to Make Them Like or Love You

Changing your hobbies, musical interests and food taste for another person is not love. Being able to be yourself is of the utmost importance when you are endeavoring into a positive relationship with a human being, especially when you are dating. If you have to change who you are to be in a relationship with another person, it is likely the relationship will not last.

4. Your Self-Worth Revolves Around Them

If you don’t feel as though you are worth anything unless your partner tells you that you are, you are experiencing an obsession rather than love. Healthy love involved a decent amount of self-love first, and in order to truly experience a healthy bond, you must be able to love and value yourself.

5. You Are Constantly Trying to Change the Other Person

If you find yourself constantly trying to manipulate your partner’s behavior to have them act accordingly with how you feel they should act, this is a bad sign. We cannot change other people, and unless we can accept them for who they are, flaws and all, the relationship will never work.

6. You Find Yourself Withdrawing From Other Activities for Your Partner

Dependency has a way of closing us off from the rest of the world. If you feel yourself withdrawing from people, places, and things that you once enjoyed, you are most likely dependent of your partner.

7. You Are Always Participating In Mind Games

Whether you are waiting to reply to their message because they took to long to respond, or you are otherwise manipulating your partner through mind games, this is a major red flag. And vice versa, if the other person is trying to manipulate you through mind games, it is definitely time to part ways.

8. You Are With Them Out of a Desperate Need to Be With Someone

If you are only with someone because you need to have someone to feel complete, this is a sign of dependency.

9. You Can’t Imagine Your Life Without Them In the Beginning Stages

When you have first met someone and have not established a bond to them, yet you don’t feel as though you could imagine life without them, it is likely that your partnership is an obsession rather than a true experience involving love.

10. You Aren’t Happy Unless They Are Around

While it is normal to experience euphoria when you are with someone that you care for, it is not healthy to not be able to separate from your partner. Alone time is a very important and healthy aspect in any relationship, as people need space from one another. Emotional dependence breeds an unhealthy habit of clinging to your partner for dear life.

Emotional dependence and love are worlds a part. Emotional dependence means that you are only with someone because you feel that you need them, instead of being with them because you truly love them. Unfortunately, relationships involving dependency issues eventually fall a part. If you see that you are mirroring a number of the above-stated behaviors, you could be in an emotionally dependent relationship.


Source: Evome

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